Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
