smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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