You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize