remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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