i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
