So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I smell like Dick and happiness
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
