He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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