too bad you live with your parents still
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
