singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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