That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
