My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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