I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize