No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
