Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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