TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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