i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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