So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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