***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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