so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
