Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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