I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
