This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
