i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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