Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
