I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
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