Quick, to the slutcave!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
