I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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