Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
