:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize