I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
