This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize