So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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