I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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