Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Alive.
So much puke
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
we're so committed to being not committed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
