Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
