We're facebook friends in real life
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
