I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize