HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
