Non-Jews are for practice
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize