I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
