I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
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