when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
