No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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