He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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