please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
