i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
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