Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize