like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
