I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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