Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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