woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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