turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
