is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
