You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
