So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
