I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
