Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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