Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
