Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I understand Curling. That high.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
