Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
