Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
and you fell through a lawn chair
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
