so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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