return my video game
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
