My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
